Under extreme stress, there is a tendency to hold your breath. Escalating work demands can cause a shortness of breath. Relentlessly pressing deadlines may push you to the edge of your seat with anxiety, which further obstructs your natural breathing rhythm. The following exercise will assist you in replacing your rocket-fuel stress with peace and serenity.

1. Notice the occasions in your workday when tension rises and when your chest may tighten. Notice when your breathing becomes irregular or when you're holding your breath.

2. During these times of stress, practice moving more breath into and out of the body, helping your body take in more oxygen. Three long, deep breaths into your belly will work.

3. Let go of the belly breathing and allow your body to breathe naturally and at its own depth and rhythm, until you begin to feel a sense of calm arising.

4. Pay attention to sensations occurring from the body's natural breathing patterns. Are you feeling less anxious? Are you experiencing a loosening and relaxing in your body?

This exercise starts with "Notice" - and that is the first step in improving balance. We spend a lot of time, especially at work, on auto-pilot, moving from one task to the next without paying attention to what is going on in our own bodies and minds. By the end of the day, we can be tight and tensed, leading many of us to need to "unwind" after work. Try to notice tension during the day, perhaps by practicing this exercise, then notice if you feel differently in the evening.

So I did. Then another. Then I had a nice, big glass of water.

What do you do when you're having "one of those days" to turn things around? What's your Crankypants Solution?

I've heard more and more anecdotes of companies administering "personality" tests in an effort to better zone in on people who would be exemplary employees and weed out those who merely interview well. This again places distrust on the managers to manage effectively, and starts the employment relationship in a defensive position - the employer is implicitly stating, "You can't get one over on us."

Both of these examples try to end-around authentic communication between employee and manager and impose systems to "fix" the human factor involved. How can employers foster collaboration and trust - positive values - rather than continuing the fear/distrust cycle?

Positive psychologists have built upon studies of resilience to find the character strengths that can help people develop the qualities Mr. Kannemer and Prof. Yamada seek for healthy workplaces, without the "struggle and pain." Practicing on Purpose LLC's 7 Purposes Wellness model is partially based on these character strengths. When I began formulating the idea for Practicing on Purpose, I wanted to help people be happier at work and to find fulfillment and balance - without having to go through trauma for their light bulbs to turn on. Positive psychologists have the same goal, and are showing through clinical studies that character strengths are the key.

Have you taken our quick and easy Wellness Assessment to see where you are, and which character strengths you use well?

The answer seems to be paying workers less in exchange for higher job satisfaction created by the flexible arrangements. To me, this sounds like dangerous territory to step into, and reinforces the outdated model of exchanging time for money. The report underscores the need for higher education in today's workforce in order to provide employers with the value of "analytical and interactive skills" and not merely button-pushing. If you've read my blog long, you know that I believe in exchanging value with an employer, and having work be one part of an integrated, balanced life. I applaud the White House for beginning to address the issue and despite my disagreements with some of the sentiments I think it is the best expected beginning.

On a side note, the report also notes that far more companies than workers report having flexible work arrangements. This could mean a few things - my guess is it comes down to one's direct manager (as do most things in the workplace). Having an inflexible manager can eliminate any flexible benefits the company might offer. 

This reminds me that data must always have a context. This is true of a website analytics report, and it is also true of the data closest to us - our emotions. A strong emotional reaction is a trigger to remind us to stop and assess the context. It's most important to remember that external circumstance (or other people) cannot cause these reactions - it's a reflection of something going on internally.

Had I not stopped to think about why that blog post had so much more activity, and realized that I had linked it elsewhere, I might have put extra, unneeded focus on that topic. Similarly, if I don't stop and think when I feel outraged or wronged, I might not see the whole picture and react in a way that hurts myself and others.

We often create doubles of ourselves, when we adopt different personas for different areas of our lives. Then we're set with the task of trying to "balance" these different identities, when what we really need to do is integrate them. When we are not whole, parts of our lives are separated and it is difficult to make the decisions that best meet our needs and wants. We end up in a juggling act trying to keep each piece satisfied, perpetuating the schism and conflict.

Today, think of two conflicting goals you have set yourself. Look at the different parts of yourself that desires each goal. Then think about the commonalities each part has.

This process demonstrates a collaborative, creative problem-solving approach. Using the images from dreams and thoughts shared by others, we can see an issue from a different angle. We get insights we wouldn't have by using "rational" reasoning, which just might lead to that breakthrough we've been struggling to achieve.

Where have I been "stuck" trying to fix a problem? Can I let go of reasoning it through and be open to finding a creative solution?

I'll use this dream to demonstrate Lightning Dreamwork, a technique my teacher invented to share dreams in a fast and fun way: 

First, the dreamer tells the dream like a story.

Next, we ask how the dreamer felt on waking from the dream, as emotions are the Rosetta Stone for the dreamer (remember, emotions are data, showing us where to look). I felt excited and a sense of anticipation on waking.

The next step is to do a reality check - could this dream be literal in some way? What elements from the dream are familiar from waking life, and what events could play out in the future (even symbolically). I recognized some of the workshop participants, all lawyers I know. I am, of course, leading workshops for lawyers on a regular basis, but I had not considered such a craft exercise before.

The final question is to ask the dreamer what she wants to know about the dream - this will inform what we share with the dreamer. I want to know how the dream relates to the Legal Wellness Tour.

After the dreamer answers the questions, we share our thoughts with her, prefacing them with "If it were my dream," and keeping statements in the first person. (We don't want to impose our view on the dreamer. I facilitated Lightning Dreamwork with my mom and aunts one time, and one of them said, "If it were my dream, you should spend more time with your sisters!").

I'll share a thought with myself playing the other role - If it were my dream I might think about how my tools for lawyers resemble the children's craft supplies. Perhaps I need to keep it even simpler than I have planned.

So that's Lightning Dreamwork! There's one more step I'll share tomorrow, after you tell me your thoughts on the dream. You can share on Twitter (@legalwellness), on our Facebook page, or by email.

Today on Sesame Street, the theme is Seasons. We are in the deep of winter here in Boston, but soon we'll be heading out on Tour all across the U.S. Knowing that soon we'll (hopefully) be in 70+ degree weather makes these days of below-freezing weather easier to bear. I wouldn't want to live without seasons, but usually by mid-February I am ready for a break from the snow. As Shakespeare wrote,

Blow, blow, thou winter wind

Thou art not so unkind

As man's ingratitude